Blog

Humourist Funerals, Uncategorized

Funerals

Have you ever been to a fun Funeral?

I hope my life will be celebrated in an outrageous fashion. When I die I want it to be like the end of X-factor when a video is presented with all the fabulous things I’ve achieved!

What do you want?

Continue reading “Funerals”
Baby's Names, poetry, Uncategorized

Lilibet

Lilibet Lilibet
What’s in a name?
Doria Doria it’s just not the same
It’s too private and gracious
And won’t fan the flame!

If you’re starting a brand?
Then the tag line is crucial
But to trade on your Baby
Well, that’s downright Brutal!

Do they have no shame?
In this quest to stay ‘Private’
Yet pimp out their spawn
While the, dignified,
Stay Quiet!

To read more from GG

Relationships

Friends

We’re in a state of being friends
This thing that we call bonds
How strong a link
How much the love
It’s so much more than fond!

We’ve know each other
Most our lives
We’re intertwined and woven
But never have we fallen out
Never were we broken!

When times are hard
And spirits fail
We pick each other up
We love, support and carry through
With a word, a thought, a touch!

So moving forward
We are strong
Together we are better
Until the end we’ll carry on
F R I E N D S…they come no better!

#friends

To read more from Glasgow Girl G1 https://amzn.to/3ceDoIa

love, Poetry

Pink Moon

Oh my…
My love, I saw the moon, and she revealed the truth
Of me, and you, and dreams so true
The lust, the lie, the loss!

When first I saw your handsome face
The sparkle in your eye
I loved you then
I love you now
But truth, it never lies!

You promised me the sun and stars
The sea, the tide, the sky
You took my soul
My heart
My life
But, in the end, love died!

Oh my…

Love!

Click to read more!

Relationships

Unrequited Love v Lust!

Go on have a listen!

What is Unrequited Love?

All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts.

—  William Shakespeare

Or, is it simply, we all want what we can’t have?

Continue reading “Unrequited Love v Lust!”
domestic abuse, Lockdown, Loneliness, Poetry, Poetry, Relationships

Loved to Death

Have you ever stayed in a relationship which was bad for you?

Domestic abuse has been on the rise during lockdown and affects men women and children. If you see signs of anyone in trouble then pay attention.

You could be the last hope!

Continue reading “Loved to Death”
Celebrations, Civil Celebrant, Civil Celebrations, restrictions, weddings

Marriage and Restrictions

Should true love should have restriction and are there no rules when it comes to love and marriage?

Here I will give you an outline of the current situation!

Continue reading “Marriage and Restrictions”
Celebrations, Poetry, Uncategorized

It’s Time

Today, It’s nearly over
So I’ll rush right through the gate
And hurry towards the arms
Of loved ones…
Who wait!

We’ll clutch and laugh, 
We’ll cry, we’ll dance

We have a second chance!

This time we have been given, 
To learn and to reflect… 
Life’s precious gift we’re given 
To value and respect

Let’s see this as another chance
To love, be kind, repair
And make the most of everything
Let’s celebrate…
Out there! 

Read More from GG!

Celebrations, Civil Celebrant, Civil Celebrant, Civil Celebrant, Civil Celebrations, Civil Celebrations, Civil Weddings

The Concept of a Civil Ceremony

How did Civil Ceremonies come about?

What do you need to know about the legal requirement of a Civil Marriage?

Ask me any questions you need to know!

Continue reading “The Concept of a Civil Ceremony”
Celebrations, Civil Celebrant, Civil Celebrant

Is Civil Celebrancy a Career?

What is your understanding of what ta Civil Celebrant does!

The two periods of major social change in the UK which led to the development of Celebrancy as a profession areMany and varied!

Continue reading “Is Civil Celebrancy a Career?”
Uncategorized

Stupid Cupid

Thank Cupid it’s over for another year!

St Valentine has a lot to answer for!

Don’t get me wrong it’s my choice to be on my own but seriously, even my independent, confident heart leaks when overwhelmed with a barrage of blood, red hearts and flowers. Especially when I’m digesting Haggis and still have left over Christmas pudding in the cupboard

Continue reading “Stupid Cupid”
Uncategorized

The Grinch – Nicola Stern-Doom

Is it too early to put up your Christmas tree?

I know where I’d like to put my tree – right up a pert sanctimonious bottom!

This year has been stolen by Covid19 and reinforced by the Covidiots20 who spread theories and conspiracies while also spewing bile and droplets of falsehood. Maybe you are immune to the virus and the truth but others are scared!

Have we lost respect for others?

Continue reading “The Grinch – Nicola Stern-Doom”

review, Uncategorized

Kastriot’s

Coming out of the dark!

I’m still apprehensive about going out and will only do so if I need to and sometimes this ‘need’ is to share food and company. It’s been sad to see, the Glasgow I love, so quiet and still but it’s starting to come alive.

If we see this as a renaissance and embrace the ‘new normal’ while supporting independent businesses we will emerge with a core which is stronger than ever!  Continue reading “Kastriot’s”

Mindfulness, Uncategorized

Covid19 Breakdown

Were you struggling to stay positive during this #Covid19 Lockdown?

“Having a positive mental attitude is asking how something can be done rather than saying it can’t be done.”
Bo Bennett

Now I’m feeling stressed about re-entering civilisation and panicking about the simplest things. So, let’s go gently into the next phase. There is no rush!

Continue reading “Covid19 Breakdown”

Kindness, Uncategorized

Human Kindness

Should we ever fear too much kindness?

Sometimes when people are too kind and we can feel overwhelmed, especially in times of extreme sadness and can reject offers of help.

When Shakespeare wrote;

“Yet doe I feare thy Nature, it is too full o’ the’ Milke of humane kindnesse.”

Lady Macbeth was unsure her king wasn’t ruthless enough to carry out his role.

Is an act of kindness ever wasted? Continue reading “Human Kindness”

Loneliness, Uncategorized

Covid Loneliness

In these days of Covid19 and isolation is it dangerous to play hard to get?

Recently I’ve been contacted by characters of interest whom I have previously rejected and I think it’s, either because they are bored, or their other burd has a virus and they have no access because of this unattainability. Should I be kind and pander to this neediness or be my usual sharp, dismissive self?

Is it cool or unkind to pretend to be unavailable? Continue reading “Covid Loneliness”

covid19, Pandemic, Uncategorized

Sweet Charity!

What have you done to be proud of today?

As I’ve watched some of my favourite eateries close because of the Corona Virus it’s been astonishing how some of them have coped and flourished altruistically. In spite of the horrific situation facing them, whereby they’ve had to let staff go, not knowing exactly how they will be supported financially or emotionally.

What have they done?

Continue reading “Sweet Charity!”

Content, Uncategorized

Evergreen

How Evergreen is your Content?

Many topics are universal and static but still remain crucial to your business. An example would be, how your company started, where you are based and what is your passion as this, generally will not change. Italian Aroma Coffee is a Glasgow based, coffee roaster, they have a passion for Italian coffee and are committed to providing the highest quality possible!

That will not change!

Continue reading “Evergreen”

Florence, Travel, Travel, Uncategorized

Harry’s Bar

Harry’s Bar!

Table for One – Florence!

I was early back to the apartment and not very hungry but it was far too early to call it a night so I decided to take a stroll and see where the Arno took me? Continue reading “Harry’s Bar”

Online Dating, Uncategorized

Online Dating

Have you tried fingering your keyboard for a date?

In order to consider the minefield of online dating, let’s break it down!

Online, by sheer definition, is an entity controlled by, or connected to, a computer. Leonard Kleinrock was one of the pioneers who wrote about ARPANET in 1961 which preceded the internet as we now know it.

Dating has many meanings; one being a ‘trial period in which people explore whether to take the relationship further, towards a more permanent contract’.

Marriage! Continue reading “Online Dating”

#bekind, Anger, Anxiety!, article, Depression, Loneliness, Social Media

#bekind

Have you ever thought your mind has been, or is, poisoned?

We all experience times when life and things don’t make sense to us and start to eat us away inside. We overthink and make mountains out of molehills. Recently I was talking to a friend about something I’d heard on the news which had made me very angry. Her response to me was simply;

“Why are you angry? it has absolutely nothing t do with you!” Continue reading “#bekind”

article, health, Lifestyle, News, weight loss

Weight Loss

Surely, if there were a safe, simple, side effect–free way to Lose Weight for good, we would know about it by now, right?

I’m not so sure.

It takes an average of 17 years before evidence from scientific research is incorporated into day-to-day clinical practice. With more than half a million scientific papers on the subject of obesity and weight loss exist in academic libraries, with a hundred new ones published every day.

Who can read all that? Who would know if a gem of evidence-based scientific research had been ignored because it couldn’t be monetised or didn’t fit with the latest dietary dogma?

So we do it instead. At my health research website NutritionFacts.org, we read all the original studies, combing through tens of thousands of papers a year to find out what the science really shows.

Click photo for Detox Offer!

1. DON’T SKIP BREAKFAST

Most randomised controlled studies found no weight-loss benefit to skipping breakfast. But how is that possible if it means skipping calories? It’s probably because . . .

2. IT’S NOT JUST WHAT WE EAT, BUT WHEN

calories consumed in the morning don’t appear to count as much as evening calories.

The difference is explained by chronobiology — how our body’s natural cycle is affected by the rhythms of the sun, moon, and seasons. It doesn’t matter when we sleep, nearly every cell continues to cycle in a 24-hour circadian rhythm. It’s part of that rhythm to burn more meal calories in the morning than at any other time. For weight loss, eat your main meal of the day at lunch, or even breakfast, rather than dinner. Best of all, try . . .

3. NEGATIVE-CALORIE PORRIDGE

Researchers at Columbia University split individuals into three breakfast groups: those eating porridge made from quick oats, the same number of calories of Frosted Flakes, or just plain water. They then measured how many calories people took in at lunch.

Not only did those who ate the porridge feel fuller, some went on to consume less at lunch — about 400 fewer calories, in fact, which is more than the porridge itself. So, in effect, the porridge provided ‘negative’ calories.

In contrast, the Frosted Flakes were so unsatiating that the cereal group ate as much at lunch as the breakfast-skipping, water-only group.

4. ACTIVATE YOUR ‘BAT’ SIGNAL

Many people know about the white fat in our belly that stores fat. But did you know you also have brown fat — brown adipose tissue (BAT) — that burns fat?

BAT is located high in our chests, in the neck and shoulder regions, and the more active it is, the thinner you tend to be.

Coffee is a weight-buster, too. Drink two cups, and over the next few hours your resting metabolic rate goes up about 10 per cent. On average, every cup of coffee may cause you to end up burning 17 extra calories. Since a cup of black coffee only has about two calories, that leaves a net deficit of 15 calories per cup.

One of the best ways to activate it is to feel a bit chilly.

You burn 164 more calories a day living at 16.5c instead of 22c. Provided you don’t eat more to compensate, this could translate into a pound of fat a year per degree.

Even turning down the thermostat from 24c to 19c has been proven to boost BAT activation and burn about 100 more calories every day: an annual equivalent to 20 days of fasting.

5. TEA AND COFFEE FOR CALORIE BURN

Simply drink a cup of tea, and within an hour you may burn up to 10 per cent more calories.

In one study, having tea three times a day raised the number of calories burned in that 24-hour period from about 2,280 to 2,360. In effect, each cup of tea swept away about 25 calories.

Researchers think it’s likely that tea activates the BAT signal, too. But it’s tea without milk, I’m afraid. Researchers found that milk ‘completely prevents the biological activity of tea’.

Coffee is a weight-buster, too. Drink two cups, and over the next few hours your resting metabolic rate goes up about 10 per cent. On average, every cup of coffee may cause you to end up burning 17 extra calories. Since a cup of black coffee only has about two calories, that leaves a net deficit of 15 calories per cup.

6. EAT A TOMATO BEFORE EVERY MEAL

WANT a weight-reducing vegetable with anti-inflammatory properties thrown in? The humble tomato ticks both boxes.

If you give people about a quarter of a cup of tomato paste a day, you get an improvement in artery function within 15 days — an effect attributed to both anti-inflammatory and antioxidant effects.

Tomatoes are so anti-inflammatory that tomato extracts have been investigated as a potential replacement for aspirin as a blood thinner.

Meanwhile, women asked to eat a large ripe tomato before lunch every day for a month dropped two pounds, with improvements in blood sugar, cholesterol and triglycerides (a type of fat lipid found in your blood). A tomato is 95 per cent water, so you’re effectively filling up a fist-sized portion of your stomach with only about 15 calories right before a meal.

7. GO NUTS

Nuts are high in calories, but are also one of the few foods that may add years to your life.

Not only might they slow the ageing process itself, but an ounce a day (roughly a handful) may also reduce the risk of dying from heart disease, stroke, cancer, respiratory disease, diabetes and infections — more than half of our top ten killers.

Even better, eaten in moderation, those calories don’t seem to matter.

Nuts appear to be so satiating that if you give people a mid-morning snack of almonds, not only do they subsequently eat less at lunch, they eat less at dinner, too, offsetting the extra almond calories. This explains how you can make 30,000 calories ‘vanish’ into thin air.

People in a months-long trial who added servings of almonds, pistachios, hazelnuts or walnuts to their daily diets — totalling 30,000 calories in total — didn’t gain a single pound on average.

8. SPICE IT UP WITH BLACK CUMIN

Black cumin — also known as nigella sativa but no relation to ordinary cumin, oddly — is a common spice in Indian and Middle Eastern cuisines, highly prized for its purported medicinal benefits. Only in the past 50 years or so has it been put to the scientific test, though, culminating in more than 1,000 published medical papers.

Some of the results are extraordinary. One study found that menopausal women who tried a gram a day (less than a quarter of a teaspoon) of black cumin powder reduced their bad cholesterol by 27 per cent within two months — the sort of results you’d expect with statins.

It’s equally astonishing for weight loss. A recent analysis of controlled trials found a quarter of a teaspoon every day reduces your BMI within a couple of months.

If it’s truly so beneficial to so many facets of health, why don’t we hear more about it? Why wasn’t I taught about it in medical school? Maybe because there’s little profit motive. The daily dose of black cumin used in most of these studies would cost about 2p. Put some in your pepper grinder with the peppercorns.

9. BOOST YOUR FAT CONTROLLER

Every cell in our body is like a little rechargeable battery; charged up with food or sunlight and then drained back down as the cell does its work.

What happens if the cell is running on empty and it’s not re-fuelled with food? It starts taking from the fat stores on your body.

But to do that requires a sensor to flip the switch in our body from storing fat to burning fat, and that’s the job of an enzyme called adenosine monophosphate-activated protein kinase (AMPK), sometimes nicknamed the fat controller. By boosting the activity of AMPK, our bodies burn more fat.

One way to do it is to eat vinegar. During a three-month trial, a group taking one daily tablespoon of vinegar steadily lost about 1lb a month, while a group taking two daily tablespoons were down a total of about 5lb. It might not sound like a lot, but that weight loss was achieved without removing anything from their diet.

The vinegar groups lost about an inch off their waistlines, suggesting they were burning abdominal fat.

Never drink it straight, though! It can cause intractable hiccups and burn your oesophagus. Toss your salad in it instead.

10. BOIL POTATOES

In a landmark study in which dozens of foods were put to the test, the most filling was the boiled potato. No other food even came close. Eating boiled potatoes as a side dish fills you up so much, it cuts as much as 200 calories of intake off a meal.

11. EVERYDAY ACTIVITY BEATS EXERCISE REGIMES

Exercise is good for you, but not for weight loss.

A moderately obese person doing moderate-intensity physical activity, such as biking or brisk walking, would burn off about 350 calories an hour.

Yet we consume most processed drinks and snacks at a rate of about 70 calories a minute, so it takes five minutes of snacking for someone to wipe out a whole hour of exercise. We’d need to jog a quarter of a mile for every single bite of a Snickers bar.

Far better to concentrate your weight-loss energy on getting enough NEAT in — that’s NonExercise Activity Thermogenesis, or the heat given off by our regular activities such as standing, moving and fidgeting.

NEAT typically burns off at least five times more calories a day than an average exercise programme. It’s why some people can eat and eat and not put on weight. They just get up and move more in daily life.

If you don’t fidget, you need to work on it. NEAT means taking the stairs instead of the escalator. It means singing, laughing, cleaning and gardening — any activity that creates muscular contractions. Cooking dinner, for example, burns five to ten times more calories than sitting in the living room watching TV.

12. EMBRACE THE SCALES

Forget all those high-tech wearable trackers, the best device for monitoring calorie intake and losing weight remains the humble bathroom scales.

Findings from more than a dozen studies have consistently shown regular self-weighing to be associated with successful weight loss, and one study found that twice daily — on waking and again right before bed — appeared superior to once a day (about 6lb versus 2lb of weight loss over 12 weeks).

P.S. SORRY, SEX DOESN’T COUNT

It’s a widely-held belief that a bout of sexual activity burns a few hundred calories. So you may think, hey, I could get a side of chips with that!

But if you hook people up (literally and figuratively) and measure their oxygen consumption during the act, having sex only turns out to be the metabolic equivalent of bowling.

For more info and thanks to Daily Mail!

gg-logo-short-1-e1569734891747

article, climate change, Content, Uncategorized, Writing

Dear World

Dear World

I know you’ve not been well and I’m sorry for not visiting but, well, you know how it is, we’re all so busy. Wee Greta keeps me informed about how you are, she’s trying so hard to look after you I’m afraid it’s making her quite unwell. Continue reading “Dear World”

review, Uncategorized

Piccolino e Vino!

When was the last time you had a ‘proper’ Italian experience?

Nestling in Newton Mearns , on the Southside of Glasgow, Piccolino e Vino is proper old school Italian offering a ‘true sense’ of Italy with an authentic and charming, dining experience.

Continue reading “Piccolino e Vino!”

Anxiety!, Depression, Uncategorized

Save Me!

“My message is that we’ll be watching you. This is all wrong. I shouldn’t be up here. I should be back in school on the other side of the ocean. Yet you all come to us young people for hop. How dare you?”

-Greta Thunberg Continue reading “Save Me!”

Black Friday

Black Friday!

Why are we celebrating another American Tradition?

How on earth did we become embroiled in such a money making marketing catastrophe? For the past few of years we’ve bought into a false sense of urgency to buy goods from a range of retailers offering ‘massive’ discounts on a ‘day’ which now lasts for up to two weeks!

Continue reading “Black Friday!”

health, weight loss

Lose Weight with Coffee

Can Coffee help you lose weight?

According to a study by hundreds of, so called, experts coffee helps you to lose weight. Well, kiss my sorry cappuccino, of course I does, if that’s all you have. I start my day with coffee, think about it as I go to sleep and then dream about magical, never ending beans every night but where are the facts? Continue reading “Lose Weight with Coffee”

food, Glasgow, review

Gia’s

The East End of Glasgow might not be known for its culture, sophistication and class but the locals do know about good food and value for money. Last night I put my bet on a new and very chic eatery, which is sure to be a massive hit with East Enders and anyone else who cares to take a trip down Shettleston Road!

You will love it!

Continue reading “Gia’s”

domestic abuse, Homeless, The Mental Pause

FREE!

The Mental Pause!

Rusty has had a serious breakdown with the most dramatic and hilarious consequences. Sometimes sad and often very funny, her view on the world is upside down and she might never recover from her Mental Pause.

Click HERE to download FREE from 11th till 15th October